<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d1745908971629655949\x26blogName\x3dMalchik+Gey\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://lonelyclosetx.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://lonelyclosetx.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d6437957505102223032', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Magic Of Alcohol.

Who knew that this magic brew could turn your world topsy turvy.
Who knew that it could turn yourself 180.
For what it's worth I'm totally loving it.
Thanks guys for showing me how to have a great time.

I really had a great night.
Mingle with others for the first time.
Seeing butterflies and watch the runaway.
Sharpening up my gaydar.

For the first time in my 19 over 20 life i could finally let myself off.
Eventhough I broke my favourite necklace.
Eventhough I dropped some money.
Eventhough the aftermath is not quite the delight.

I wish I could master the art of seducing and succumbing.
But hey baby step mon cherie,baby step.
Gonna give some details later.
But for now lemme deal with this writer block first.

To C,P,J,V and other strangers who I might accidentally kiss and do something stupid, I am seriously sorry for your trouble.

P said = Now i see some part of you i didn't know
C said = You were a dirty slut last night.
D said = That's the magic of alcohol
Me? = I'm not drunk!
I manage to answered all of your questions quite soberly.
Ok maybe I'm 80% drunk.

Goodbye, my friend.
4:07 PM
0 commented

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Raya Holiday

It’s that time of year again. Where shopping spree is on rampage and chirpy catchy songs are played again and again until it stuck in your head. That’s right it’s Raya Season. And from what I hear there will be some changes to the event line up.

Walking through the crowd in The Gardens, M is spotted wearing GAP jeans and apparel, Blue ADIDAS Vespa shoes and Navy ADIDAS bag. Wonder what he is looking for?

M exited GAP feeling disappointed. The blue plaid ceramic green shirt that he is looking for is nowhere to be found. He’s been dying to have that shirt since summer and it is near the end of the year and he still hasn’t got it. Frustrated, he walks out the door and try to find some place else. Maybe GUESS is having something interesting in store. He is determining to find something nice for himself for this Raya. Money looks good this month. He has this Chinese guy that is yet to meet later this evening. He has to find something that looks good and nice before he is going to meet him at KLCC. M is finally giving up on the thought of tiring himself out. He goes to Topman knowing that he needs to find some clothes quick and without any hassle. He asks for a stylist to help him pick the right looks for today’s blind date. With budget under RM500 he needs to find a top, bottom and the right accessories. His stylist for today, R is picking up a lot of stuff for him. There are a lot of people in there today. Maybe they are looking for their Raya outfit too he guesses. People are looking at him because of the special treatment he got. He doesn’t have to line up behind the long queue waiting to try his cloth on. After picking up about 20 shirts, some jeans and accessories, R quickly take M to the VIP Room to give him his personal styling advices.M, decide to pick three shirts, one faded slim fit jeans, a glasses and some miscellaneous item after changing for a long time. He goes to the nearest shop and bought something as a token for his first blind date. Wonder what kind of date is M going to have today and how will it end up.

The bachelor den seems quiet today; M is going out earlier today. N is still sleeping because he got graveyard shift for the whole week. B is nowhere to be found and E is possibly going out to the nearest cybercafé.

Lying in his mattress hopeless and pathetic, F is depressed and emotionally tortured. It has been 2 months since he started his internship at SONY and his hopes of furthering his relationship with A seem totally out of the window. F walked into M’s room knowing that he out and uses his scale. The scale pointer points to 8xkg. No doubt of getting his weight rocketing sky high. He’s been pigging on food to release his tension. McDonald's seems to be his best friend now. He walks back to his room and slumps onto his mattress. He takes a glance over the mirror. Pimples and stray hair are everywhere on his face. He hasn’t been taking care of his personals lately. He hates his jobs. He is being isolated from the people at work and A is totally self absorbed with that plain bitch he’s having relationship with. Fasting is totally useless for him to lose some weight. It seems like he is gaining weight instead of losing it. He tries to eat only pickle during fasting month but it went totally bust and got him stomach-ache. He try to cut his expenses by buying soup at the bazaar but end up buying everything and eat it all up and his last resort is to home cook which seems to work. Plus he can get some attention from his housemate by making commotion in the kitchen. He’s been trying to grab his housemate attention by crying, talking alone in the bathroom, vomiting and work every angle in the book to make his housemate notice him but to no avail, no one’s seems to care. F continues to indulge himself to self pity wondering what this year Raya is going to be.

We still have N,E and B point of view of Raya to cover.Wonder what are they having on their plate this month? Will N, finally get the girl he wanted? Will E have the approval of others and get himself into the inner circle instead of being the wannabe? While for B, there nothing much going on with him lately.Why suddenly out of the picture B? Will F survive not being the center of the attraction? How will M date ends?

And as for me, I am trading my laptop for stove top and for the next few weeks the only thing I'm dishing is seconds.when the cats away, the mice will play.Have fun little rodents.

*You are nobody untill everyone talks about you.

NikyuNote: Experimenting with Gossip Girl writing style and yes, I'm totally going gaga over Gossip Girl Season 3.Still watching few episode from the third season and Boy! do I have a lot of surprise to discover.On the other side, Raya mood is haven’t kick in yet.lol


Goodbye, my friend.
11:18 PM
0 commented

Monday, September 14, 2009

19 going 20

I toss and turn on the couch feeling grumpy and slouchy.The living room of my auntie house feels empty.The clock is ticking and the echo can be heard everywhere.The hustle and bustle of the city is filling the day.Dry heat scorching the day and it felt like it is piercing through the roof.

*sigh* "Screw it I'm eating!" said X while throwing the pillow to the floor.

"But you have tried so hard to lose some weight and we are halfway through the finish line.Plus are you sure you want to skip fasting today?" reply Y, picking up the pillow and re-arranging back the pillow.

"Whatever, just think this as my reward for my suffering and sacrifice for 8 months" wail X scratching his hair wildly and tousled it.His wake-up-from-bed-hair looks even messier after being tousled but it doesn't look that bad.

"Well think of it this way, at least you are now mature enough to made some decision and you can have a lot of fun that you havent had the chance before." explain Y, while smoothing X's hair into a neat and clean look.

"I know that being adult mean that I can have all the good clothes and shoes,having mind blowing earth shattering out of the world sex,but it is not all fairy dust and twinkle light life like before you know, Y?" X turned his head to look Y in the eyes and held his hand.

"There is a lot of thing that I haven't yet prepare to explore.I need someone to guide me.Heck, after 19 years old I'm still a virgin just let me die a virgin!" X throw his face to the pillow and throw some of the cushion around him.

"God! you are such a drama queen you know that." Tease Y, pinching X's nose and kissing his cheeks.

"But it is true that turning 20 means that you have a lot of things to handle.It wont be starry trail and sunshine path for you after this.Responsibility is a big thing.Decision to handle.It also means that youve earn some trust from others to handle this kind of situation, you know?It means you are now able to have some voice in things you wanna say." Y pat X's hair gently and run his fingers through X's hair.

"Humph.There are still a lot of things, that I havent achieve yet.I'm worried you know.What if i couldnt achieve all that I want after all?" Pout X while trudging inside his cousin room and taking out a teddy bear with him.

*small laugh*"That is absurd.You are being childish you know that.But I dont blame you to worry about those stuff.It is normal for people to be narcissictic sometimes.And believe me, If you work twice as hard, you'll achieve whatever you want." Wink Y.

"Pinky promise me?" X hugs Kumasy (He nicknamed every teddybear he found or have, Kumasy)

"I'll pinky promise you." Y hold X's hand and do a pinky promise.

"Now, how about a ribena and some slice apple huh?... and maybe a sliver of moist chocolate cake." Suggest Y,kissing X's forehead.

"I thought you want to keep your fast?" X confuse and trying to grab the gravity of the situation.

"Let's make this an exception shall we.Happy Birthday dear" Y gently kisses the back of X's hand.

"Happy Birthday to you too" Nuzzle X in Y hug.

Are you really sure about this?

While both of them eating happily in the living room,
"Kata puasa, Along tak puasa hari ni?" ask Abang N, shocked.

"Tak." simple reply comes out from both of them with a grin.

NikyuNote: Kumasy is japanese for bearsy.

Internal Monologue

Goodbye, my friend.
6:05 PM
0 commented

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Stop And Stare

Klakk! My headphones dropped to the floor.Suddenly sounds from everywhere stopped.Time froze for a while.Everything become quiet.I can feel the threads of my clothes slowly ripping from behind.My heart is beating like a hammer.My pulse become fast and unequal.The temperature suddenly rising exponentially.Hot deep breath felt from behind me.All of my skin suddenly reactive and sensitive.Then my belt unbuckled and dropped to the floor.One by one of my jeans button is popping itself then lowered down to my knee.The only thing left is my boxer.A warm sensation wrapped around me and its getting warmer and warmer down south.I can feel that my boxer is getting looser and getting lower.

I'm gasping for air.It is getting steamier by the moment.This torture is unbearable and yet there is nothing that I could do.Damn! He is stripping me naked by his glare.From the moment he entered the coach, I knew that he would be a trouble for me.Our eyes met and we just lost in the moment.A glance from me while biting my headphones wire and a smirk from him whileplaying with his bag.A stranger with a pair of cute bunny eyes.Dark and smooth hair perfectly groom.Average build with no extra baggage.Slightly taller than me so I guess he is 170 and above.Wearing a cute 'Tigger' from Winnie the Pooh t-shirt and white ODM bracelet watch.Fair smooth skin and a killer smile than melts every hearts that sees him.

Here's a look for you.

At first, He is standing right in front of me.Being freshly new out from the closet.I still haven't master the art of flirting and seducting with others and my gaydar is still weak.But I make this stranger an exception.I thought he was looking at someone else so I just let it be and mind my own bussiness.But I can feel his stare piercing through me so I looked around and I saw that he is really checking me out.Still being a dumb klutz I let it go and checked if there is anything worng with me.Nope, my fly wasn't open and nothing peeking out from my zipper.Checked my reflection on the mirror and couldn't found anything out of the ordinary.My shirt is clean from weird gooey substances.My jeans doesn't have any wet spots on them and my face is not melting.

Until he shift his position from standing in front of me to making his way to stand right behind me and breathing heavily behind me eventhough there is a lot of space that could possibly fit to fill 50 penguins (Though it would be weird if it does) and after a lot of writhing and squirming eventhough the coach is not that pack, He move back to stand in front of me, maybe it is because I take a seat after the tempting yet inappropriate session.And that is when the undressing me with his pure black eyes.If I have a knife right then, I think I could cut the air and the tense in that coach.I don't know what the hell to do so I just look and stare blankly.

For a moment there, I thought that he gave up and start minding his own things but he keeps glance and peek at me once in a while.My cheeks cant help theirselves from turning crimson red and my ears can't stop from burning and steaming.His eyes follow me untill I get out from the coach and the untill the train move again.Maybe it was fun for him toying with me and my expression, I guess.

Nikyu Note:Who knew that riding KTM could be so...euphoric


Goodbye, my friend.
5:58 AM
0 commented

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Confession I

This is the second blog that I manage to handle.At first I thought that a blog is where I document my seemingly random thought and feeling but it merely scratched the surface of what I'm trying to express and convey.

It is just hard for me to keep this feeling to myself.Am I just being paranoid or is it something wrong with me? For about 5 years I have been doubting myself,feeling insecure and out of place.Why am I different from anyone else?

I feel sick and worried, why do I have this kind of feeling? Is it okay? Is it not okay? What will other peole think about me? What are the consequences? Will my family accept me? Are people around me are going to accept me?

I don't know how it started but when it did, I just can't help myself from falling in love with my best friend.I keep on thinking to myself that it is just brotherly or friendship bond.Leading myself that I'm just imagining it

I should have just look from afar.

He is my best friend for god sakes.His girlfriend is my friend too.What is the matter with me?Why does she cheat on him with his best friend? How can I have an affair with my friend boyfriend? Why is he suddenly become my lover? Now everything is complicated.

I truly feel like an abomination.This mess is to complicated to solved.Now everyone of us is running from the problem that happened years ago.But I'm tired of running.I want to know the truth.Am I normal? What should I do? Should I ignore this feeling? Help..? Someone..? Anyone..?
Coming Clean

Goodbye, my friend.
7:43 AM
0 commented


I don't know whether is it me or my hormone level, but it seems like outing myself via blog is one way of releasing this burden.Seriously, weighing myself with decision and guilt all alone is really hard and I really hope with this blog I can ask for others help and opinion.Anyway it is still underconstruction but I kinda feel like some of my problem is popping like bubbles in midair.

*Inhale deep breath.

Goodbye, my friend.
12:39 AM
0 commented


    Im a 20 years old student.I love reading,art and music.Occasionally laugh and grin without reason(maybe something wrong with me there).Have that far away wondering blurry daze look (stuck with it since born).Obviously single,been trying to mingle and date around but for now some people to call friends should be suffice.If anything goes further and well-that might be fine with me.

Our Talk

Thank you

Our Times