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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Confession I

This is the second blog that I manage to handle.At first I thought that a blog is where I document my seemingly random thought and feeling but it merely scratched the surface of what I'm trying to express and convey.

It is just hard for me to keep this feeling to myself.Am I just being paranoid or is it something wrong with me? For about 5 years I have been doubting myself,feeling insecure and out of place.Why am I different from anyone else?

I feel sick and worried, why do I have this kind of feeling? Is it okay? Is it not okay? What will other peole think about me? What are the consequences? Will my family accept me? Are people around me are going to accept me?

I don't know how it started but when it did, I just can't help myself from falling in love with my best friend.I keep on thinking to myself that it is just brotherly or friendship bond.Leading myself that I'm just imagining it

I should have just look from afar.

He is my best friend for god sakes.His girlfriend is my friend too.What is the matter with me?Why does she cheat on him with his best friend? How can I have an affair with my friend boyfriend? Why is he suddenly become my lover? Now everything is complicated.

I truly feel like an abomination.This mess is to complicated to solved.Now everyone of us is running from the problem that happened years ago.But I'm tired of running.I want to know the truth.Am I normal? What should I do? Should I ignore this feeling? Help..? Someone..? Anyone..?
XY
Coming Clean

Goodbye, my friend.
7:43 AM
0 commented

Myself

    Im a 20 years old student.I love reading,art and music.Occasionally laugh and grin without reason(maybe something wrong with me there).Have that far away wondering blurry daze look (stuck with it since born).Obviously single,been trying to mingle and date around but for now some people to call friends should be suffice.If anything goes further and well-that might be fine with me.



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