It’s that time of year again. Where shopping spree is on rampage and chirpy catchy songs are played again and again until it stuck in your head. That’s right it’s Raya Season. And from what I hear there will be some changes to the event line up.

Walking through the crowd in The Gardens, M is spotted wearing GAP jeans and apparel, Blue ADIDAS Vespa shoes and Navy ADIDAS bag. Wonder what he is looking for?

M exited GAP feeling disappointed. The blue plaid ceramic green shirt that he is looking for is nowhere to be found. He’s been dying to have that shirt since summer and it is near the end of the year and he still hasn’t got it. Frustrated, he walks out the door and try to find some place else. Maybe GUESS is having something interesting in store. He is determining to find something nice for himself for this Raya. Money looks good this month. He has this Chinese guy that is yet to meet later this evening. He has to find something that looks good and nice before he is going to meet him at KLCC. M is finally giving up on the thought of tiring himself out. He goes to Topman knowing that he needs to find some clothes quick and without any hassle. He asks for a stylist to help him pick the right looks for today’s blind date. With budget under RM500 he needs to find a top, bottom and the right accessories. His stylist for today, R is picking up a lot of stuff for him. There are a lot of people in there today. Maybe they are looking for their Raya outfit too he guesses. People are looking at him because of the special treatment he got. He doesn’t have to line up behind the long queue waiting to try his cloth on. After picking up about 20 shirts, some jeans and accessories, R quickly take M to the VIP Room to give him his personal styling advices.M, decide to pick three shirts, one faded slim fit jeans, a glasses and some miscellaneous item after changing for a long time. He goes to the nearest shop and bought something as a token for his first blind date. Wonder what kind of date is M going to have today and how will it end up.

The bachelor den seems quiet today; M is going out earlier today. N is still sleeping because he got graveyard shift for the whole week. B is nowhere to be found and E is possibly going out to the nearest cybercafé.

Lying in his mattress hopeless and pathetic, F is depressed and emotionally tortured. It has been 2 months since he started his internship at SONY and his hopes of furthering his relationship with A seem totally out of the window. F walked into M’s room knowing that he out and uses his scale. The scale pointer points to 8xkg. No doubt of getting his weight rocketing sky high. He’s been pigging on food to release his tension. McDonald's seems to be his best friend now. He walks back to his room and slumps onto his mattress. He takes a glance over the mirror. Pimples and stray hair are everywhere on his face. He hasn’t been taking care of his personals lately. He hates his jobs. He is being isolated from the people at work and A is totally self absorbed with that plain bitch he’s having relationship with. Fasting is totally useless for him to lose some weight. It seems like he is gaining weight instead of losing it. He tries to eat only pickle during fasting month but it went totally bust and got him stomach-ache. He try to cut his expenses by buying soup at the bazaar but end up buying everything and eat it all up and his last resort is to home cook which seems to work. Plus he can get some attention from his housemate by making commotion in the kitchen. He’s been trying to grab his housemate attention by crying, talking alone in the bathroom, vomiting and work every angle in the book to make his housemate notice him but to no avail, no one’s seems to care. F continues to indulge himself to self pity wondering what this year Raya is going to be.

We still have N,E and B point of view of Raya to cover.Wonder what are they having on their plate this month? Will N, finally get the girl he wanted? Will E have the approval of others and get himself into the inner circle instead of being the wannabe? While for B, there nothing much going on with him lately.Why suddenly out of the picture B? Will F survive not being the center of the attraction? How will M date ends?

And as for me, I am trading my laptop for stove top and for the next few weeks the only thing I'm dishing is seconds.when the cats away, the mice will play.Have fun little rodents.

NikyuNote: Experimenting with Gossip Girl writing style and yes, I'm totally going gaga over Gossip Girl Season 3.Still watching few episode from the third season and Boy! do I have a lot of surprise to discover.On the other side, Raya mood is haven’t kick in yet.lol

XY

XY
Internal Monologue

Here's a look for you.

At first, He is standing right in front of me.Being freshly new out from the closet.I still haven't master the art of flirting and seducting with others and my gaydar is still weak.But I make this stranger an exception.I thought he was looking at someone else so I just let it be and mind my own bussiness.But I can feel his stare piercing through me so I looked around and I saw that he is really checking me out.Still being a dumb klutz I let it go and checked if there is anything worng with me.Nope, my fly wasn't open and nothing peeking out from my zipper.Checked my reflection on the mirror and couldn't found anything out of the ordinary.My shirt is clean from weird gooey substances.My jeans doesn't have any wet spots on them and my face is not melting.

This is the second blog that I manage to handle.At first I thought that a blog is where I document my seemingly random thought and feeling but it merely scratched the surface of what I'm trying to express and convey.

It is just hard for me to keep this feeling to myself.Am I just being paranoid or is it something wrong with me? For about 5 years I have been doubting myself,feeling insecure and out of place.Why am I different from anyone else?

I feel sick and worried, why do I have this kind of feeling? Is it okay? Is it not okay? What will other peole think about me? What are the consequences? Will my family accept me? Are people around me are going to accept me?

I don't know how it started but when it did, I just can't help myself from falling in love with my best friend.I keep on thinking to myself that it is just brotherly or friendship bond.Leading myself that I'm just imagining it

I should have just look from afar.

He is my best friend for god sakes.His girlfriend is my friend too.What is the matter with me?Why does she cheat on him with his best friend? How can I have an affair with my friend boyfriend? Why is he suddenly become my lover? Now everything is complicated.