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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Stop And Stare

Klakk! My headphones dropped to the floor.Suddenly sounds from everywhere stopped.Time froze for a while.Everything become quiet.I can feel the threads of my clothes slowly ripping from behind.My heart is beating like a hammer.My pulse become fast and unequal.The temperature suddenly rising exponentially.Hot deep breath felt from behind me.All of my skin suddenly reactive and sensitive.Then my belt unbuckled and dropped to the floor.One by one of my jeans button is popping itself then lowered down to my knee.The only thing left is my boxer.A warm sensation wrapped around me and its getting warmer and warmer down south.I can feel that my boxer is getting looser and getting lower.

I'm gasping for air.It is getting steamier by the moment.This torture is unbearable and yet there is nothing that I could do.Damn! He is stripping me naked by his glare.From the moment he entered the coach, I knew that he would be a trouble for me.Our eyes met and we just lost in the moment.A glance from me while biting my headphones wire and a smirk from him whileplaying with his bag.A stranger with a pair of cute bunny eyes.Dark and smooth hair perfectly groom.Average build with no extra baggage.Slightly taller than me so I guess he is 170 and above.Wearing a cute 'Tigger' from Winnie the Pooh t-shirt and white ODM bracelet watch.Fair smooth skin and a killer smile than melts every hearts that sees him.

Here's a look for you.

At first, He is standing right in front of me.Being freshly new out from the closet.I still haven't master the art of flirting and seducting with others and my gaydar is still weak.But I make this stranger an exception.I thought he was looking at someone else so I just let it be and mind my own bussiness.But I can feel his stare piercing through me so I looked around and I saw that he is really checking me out.Still being a dumb klutz I let it go and checked if there is anything worng with me.Nope, my fly wasn't open and nothing peeking out from my zipper.Checked my reflection on the mirror and couldn't found anything out of the ordinary.My shirt is clean from weird gooey substances.My jeans doesn't have any wet spots on them and my face is not melting.

Until he shift his position from standing in front of me to making his way to stand right behind me and breathing heavily behind me eventhough there is a lot of space that could possibly fit to fill 50 penguins (Though it would be weird if it does) and after a lot of writhing and squirming eventhough the coach is not that pack, He move back to stand in front of me, maybe it is because I take a seat after the tempting yet inappropriate session.And that is when the undressing me with his pure black eyes.If I have a knife right then, I think I could cut the air and the tense in that coach.I don't know what the hell to do so I just look and stare blankly.

For a moment there, I thought that he gave up and start minding his own things but he keeps glance and peek at me once in a while.My cheeks cant help theirselves from turning crimson red and my ears can't stop from burning and steaming.His eyes follow me untill I get out from the coach and the untill the train move again.Maybe it was fun for him toying with me and my expression, I guess.

Nikyu Note:Who knew that riding KTM could be so...euphoric

XY
Bimbo-ish

Goodbye, my friend.
5:58 AM
0 commented

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Confession I

This is the second blog that I manage to handle.At first I thought that a blog is where I document my seemingly random thought and feeling but it merely scratched the surface of what I'm trying to express and convey.

It is just hard for me to keep this feeling to myself.Am I just being paranoid or is it something wrong with me? For about 5 years I have been doubting myself,feeling insecure and out of place.Why am I different from anyone else?

I feel sick and worried, why do I have this kind of feeling? Is it okay? Is it not okay? What will other peole think about me? What are the consequences? Will my family accept me? Are people around me are going to accept me?

I don't know how it started but when it did, I just can't help myself from falling in love with my best friend.I keep on thinking to myself that it is just brotherly or friendship bond.Leading myself that I'm just imagining it

I should have just look from afar.

He is my best friend for god sakes.His girlfriend is my friend too.What is the matter with me?Why does she cheat on him with his best friend? How can I have an affair with my friend boyfriend? Why is he suddenly become my lover? Now everything is complicated.

I truly feel like an abomination.This mess is to complicated to solved.Now everyone of us is running from the problem that happened years ago.But I'm tired of running.I want to know the truth.Am I normal? What should I do? Should I ignore this feeling? Help..? Someone..? Anyone..?
XY
Coming Clean

Goodbye, my friend.
7:43 AM
0 commented

Underconstruction

I don't know whether is it me or my hormone level, but it seems like outing myself via blog is one way of releasing this burden.Seriously, weighing myself with decision and guilt all alone is really hard and I really hope with this blog I can ask for others help and opinion.Anyway it is still underconstruction but I kinda feel like some of my problem is popping like bubbles in midair.

*Inhale deep breath.
XY
Psyched!

Goodbye, my friend.
12:39 AM
0 commented

Myself

    Im a 20 years old student.I love reading,art and music.Occasionally laugh and grin without reason(maybe something wrong with me there).Have that far away wondering blurry daze look (stuck with it since born).Obviously single,been trying to mingle and date around but for now some people to call friends should be suffice.If anything goes further and well-that might be fine with me.



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